End of Summer

So we are getting ready to head to our family cabin in Sisters, Oregon for a few days.  It should be nice to get away and relax before school starts.   We had a rough day a few days ago.  Jasmine was going through her craft bin, and at the bottom of it was a sketch pad.  She pulled it out and started looking through it, and instantly got upset.  She handed it to me and said "Its a bad one. Please get rid of it" I looked through it, and it was full of drawings that she and some of the kids from the  "Bad Family" had drawn.  I hurried to rip out all of the pictures and I tore them into to very tiny pieces and took them out to the recycling bin.  Then I tried to quickly redirect her onto something else.  I felt so bad.  I swear, I thought I got every scrap of anything "them" out of our house.  I know that I cant erase memories, but I can remove all items that were associated with them.  Things like this rip me up inside.  The look on her sweet little face when she is having a trigger or "flashback" just KILLS ME.  I just want to make it go away and "fix"it, but I cant.  It makes me feel helpless.  To watch her go through it. To watch her remember the most horrific things.  To watch her go from being totally fine to terrified in moments, knowing I cant make it stop is awful.   But we have come so far from where we were a few years ago.   And we do seem to now have more good days then bad, which I am so thankful for.