It has been a really bad day. Jasmine has been on a roller coaster of emotions today. Im not really sure what triggered it, but WOW. I feel like we have stepped back in time. She says that she has been having dreams about the offender for the last 4 nights. I HATE THIS!!!!! There isnt anything that I can do to make it go away, or erase her memories. She says that she feels scared, sad, angry and worried. No matter how many times I tell her that she is safe, she says she is worried the offender and the family is going to come and "get her". I went over everything that we do to keep her safe...doors, windows are locked. Mommy and Daddy protect you. Davis protects you. The offender and family arent allowed by law to come within 500 feet of us. The police protects you. She says she still is scared. It kills me to see her like this. And I get SO ANGRY at the offender, the family, the justice system and the state when we have days like this. I feel like I could beat the hell out of someone. My 8 year old daughter shouldnt have to feel this way. She shouldnt have such horrible dreams and memories.
I feel a bit helpless. I am going to make some more phone calls tomorrow and see what I can do as far as counseling. wish me luck, and pray that I can keep my composure while I talk to these people. Hopefully tomorrow is better.
But Today. SUCKS.
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